Imitation of Life
by She's So High
Summary: The purest of artists use their mediums to convey feelings that even they don't fully understand, or maybe that they can't communicate. Either way, what more bittersweet way to say 'I love you? slash, femmeslash
1. Chapter One

Imitation of Life

By: Lady DeathAngel

Disclaimer: not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.

Warnings: language, slash and femme-slash.

A/N: Okay, so this thing finally started writing itself. Granted, the next chapter will probably be a little while in coming since this inspiration comes in sporadic spurts. Um, if you've read anything else of mine please note that I am _still_ doing a self-beta job, so be gentle with me please. Oh, this is, of course, a Zack/Freddy story with eventual hints of Katie/Summer, possibly one-sided. Um, it's their senior year just so you know. There will be more backstory next chapter, so don't worry about the past being explained right away. I'll get to it. Um, what else . . . oh if I made any mistakes that are glaring and must be fixed A.S.A.P. please email me or leave me a review to let me know. Or both. You know, I'm not picky. . . Oh, and FTP stands for Fuck the Planet, my future band. I needed a break between scenes and only letters show up, so it's a shameless plug. Anyway, on to my very firstest School of Rock fic ever! Please read, enjoy and review.

Katie was busy sketching in Horace Green Highschool's expensive courtyard. It was gorgeous, she would concede that. That was why she was sitting underneath a large tree drawing the various flowers and couples surrounding her. But the fact was that the headmaster had pulled a few strings that involved stealing money from financial aid to have it built. Summer, after she found out, had been livid. Lawrence, on the other hand, had said it was very atmospheric and provided a nice, quiet place to study. And make out with his girlfriend, Freddy had pointed out.

Katie was torn somewhere in the middle of being angry and appreciative and settled for staying angry yet appreciative. She was always out there sketching something but was seldom bothered. Still, if someone were going to interrupt her it would be Freddy Jones. So when his spiked blonde head appeared out of nowhere in front of hers upside down, she wasn't too shocked.

"You'll get in trouble of Meritz sees you climbing the tree again," she said. "And you're in my way, so move."

"I need your help," he said, swinging down to sit in front of her.

She huffed but set her sketchbook down and lifted an eyebrow.

"What is it this time?" she asked.

He picked up her sketchbook and flipped through it.

"Damn," he said, holding one particular drawing out in front of him and turning it over and over in his hands. "You're really good. But are you sure this is appropriate for school?"

She snatched it away, the sketch in question being a study in anatomy. Female anatomy.

"What do you need help with, Jones?"

"Oh, right." He frowned. "I don't know who to draw."

She didn't have to ask what he was talking about. They were in the same art class and he was always asking her what his subject should be. She couldn't figure out why he'd even picked an art elective, and she was always asking him about it since he seemed to hate it so much. He just shrugged and said that he refused to take another language elective, he hated gym, drama wasn't his thing and he could only have two music electives.

"Besides, I don't suck at it."

Which was true enough. Freddy was actually really good. He had a nice eye for things. Katie hadn't expected it since he was always moving, drumming his fingers on tables and jiggling his foot in a very distracting manner. He just didn't seem like the type to observe things. But he did, somehow. In his own way. And she had to admit she was jealous. He didn't even have to try. He could pull a painting or a still-life sketch out of his ass and it was up on a wall in the art wing for a week.

He always did give her credit, though, since she was always picking his subjects for him.

"Just pick someone, Freddy. It's not that big a deal."

He groaned.

"But it _is_. Our final is in six weeks and my parents have been riding my back all semester about getting straight A's if I want to choose my own college and this is important."

Katie laughed.

"You'll be _fine_. You've gotten an A on everything you've turned in."

"But I've bombed every test we've taken." He groaned again. "I _hate_ art theory. What's the _point_?"

"It helps some people."

"I don't wanna be fucking _Monet_, though. I wanna be Freddy Jones. Why do I have to know what the hell impressionism is for that?"

"You picked the class," she pointed out.

He made a face.

"Yeah. Why couldn't we have _cool_ electives? I could be fixing a car for my final or making a cake."

She made a face as well.

"Because, we're a college prep school. We're above such menial classes."

"We've been prepping for college since _pre-school_. I know what _menial_ means. I am so not normal. I want to cook."

He glared at her when she laughed.

"You are so random, Freddy Jones," she said.

He rolled his eyes.

"So?"

"So what?" she asked. "I've got some sketches to finish so you'd better get out of my way."

"So what? So who am I gonna do for my project?"

"You'll find someone."

"But it's gotta be _perfect_. I'm gonna use it for my final so it has to be _just right_. Don't you _understand_? _Katie_!"

She snickered.

"You'll find someone," she repeated.

"Who are you doing?" he asked, changing gears and laying on his back so that she could go back to sketching.

"I'm not sure yet. I'm thinking of asking Summer."

His lip curled and he looked over at her.

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I've been sketching her for years, but this time it'll be official."

"You're such a dyke," he said with an affectionate pat on her knee. "But I love you anyway."

"I'm still not picking your subject for you," she told him. "Despite your flattery."

"Why not?" he whined.

"Because, this time you're gonna do it all by yourself. Like a big boy would."

"Yeah, yeah."

He stood up, dusting the seat of his pants off.

"Fine, I'll find someone inspiring. You coming to Dewey's later?"

She nodded absently.

"Yeah. I'll be there before practice so don't start without me."

"Whatever. See ya later, Muncher."

She stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to her sketchbook.

FTP

Freddy walked out of the school building paying little attention to where he was going. He was on a mission. He had to find an art subject. If Katie would have just _picked_ someone he wouldn't have this problem. But she'd said no and now he was looking critically at every guy he walked across.

"I must look like such a fuckin' fag," he muttered, averting his gaze quickly when a member of the soccer team caught him staring.

"Since when do you not?" Billy asked, coming up behind him with a wide smirk.

"Go away," he said. "I'm busy."

"Doing what? Because all _I've_ seen is you checking out every guy from the geeks to the jocks and that is just _not_ acceptable."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because you give gay men everywhere a bad name with your roving eye. So obvious."

He sighed, pulling his backpack further up on his shoulder.

"I don't care about being obvious. I'm looking for an art subject."

"That's a new one," he mused. "I'll have to use that this weekend. 'Looking for an art subject.' Okay, mentally noted."

Freddy gave him a disgusted look.

"It's not a line," he said, rolling his eyes. "Our latest art assignment is a portrait. Only, I'm going to incorporate this into my art _final_ so it's more important than just drawing some random face. My grade is depending on this. I fucking _hate_ art class."

"Ah yes, art class. Not that they truly appreciate anything a _true_ artist has to give," Billy said, finally on the right mental track. Somewhat.

Freddy snorted.

"Covering people in glue and then throwing sequins at 'em isn't exactly art, Fancy Pants."

He rolled his eyes.

"Hello? None of you would look good on stage if it weren't for me. And what about him?"

He glanced over at the guy Billy was suggesting and shook his head.

"Too boring," he announced before looking around again. "Too dumb. Too depressed. Too pale. Too skinny. Too muscular."

"What does that matter?" Billy asked. "I mean, you aren't drawing them _topless_ are you?"

Freddy shrugged.

"I dunno. Whatever pops."

"You are _sneaky_," he said with a grin. "You make gay men everywhere proud."

FTP

"No one was good enough," Freddy announced as soon as Katie walked into the loft.

She laughed and he glared.

"You'll find someone," she said.

He frowned.

"You've got it good, Katie. Girls are so much easier to pick from than guys. Stupid rule, guys drawing guys and girls drawing girls."

"Can't get pregnant that way," Summer pointed out from where she was doing her calculus homework.

Katie and Freddy rolled their eyes and Billy chuckled.

"Like I'd want to have sex with a guy," she said with a small shudder.

"Cock is way better than pussy," Freddy added.

Summer threw her pen at his head.

"You're so crude!"

"But it's true. Billy agrees with me, don't you Billy?"

"Like you need to ask."

Just then Dewey burst into the loft.

"Sorry I'm late guys, had a bit of business to take care of," he said with his usual excited drawl. "But I'm here now, so let's rock!"

"Can't," Summer said, frowning at a problem she was working on.

"And why the hell not?"

"Zack's not here yet," Lawrence answered for her.

"And why the hell not?"

They all looked at each other and then shrugged.

"His dad had something important to tell him I think," Summer said. "At least, that's what he told me at school. Dammit! Why didn't any of you take this class? I need help."

"That is exactly why," Alicia said from where she and Tomika were braiding Marta's hair. "You can't even do it. Like shit we'd be able to."

Summer just grumbled, erasing at the paper furiously and grabbing her calculator from her bag. She punched in the numbers harder than she needed to, but she always did that when she did her calculus homework. Freddy thought it was amusing but had learned long ago not to laugh at her. She was bitchy enough when she was calm. Pissed off she scared even him.

"Sorry I'm late," Zack said, walking into the loft and shrugging off his messenger bag.

"Thank God," Summer moaned, standing up and straightening her skirt. "Everything all right?"

He shrugged.

"Yeah, it's fine. Wrote a new song though, if you guys wanna hear it."

"Let me see that," Dewey said, grabbing the slip of paper Zack was holding up.

He looked it over while the guitarist got comfortable. He stripped off the school's uniform jacket, tossing it on top of his bag. Walking over to his guitar he loosened his tie and rolled up his sleeves.

"Is it all right?" he asked, slinging the strap over his shoulder and doing a few warm-up cords and scales.

"All right? Of course it's all right. You're a genius, Mooneyham," He handed the song back. "Okay kiddies, battle stations. Posh Spice, stop sketching. Alicia, Marta, Tomika does this _look_ like the set of Barbershop to you? Spazzy McGee, you can stop drumming on your legs and get your ass over to the real thing. Lawrence, carry on."

They all moved to their instruments and microphones, except for Lawrence who had been ready to play since he'd walked into the loft thirty minutes before. Dewey walked over to Summer.

"Miss Manager, got a situation you'll need to help me with. The rest of you, keep up the good work."

They watched Summer make her way over to Dewey and they started talking over official band stuff. Which meant Summer would either come back happy and tell them they were the future of the rock and roll industry _or_ she'd come back and tell them they sucked like whores and not to come back the next day. With that happy thought, they all turned back to what they were supposed to be doing.

"So?" Alicia said, one eyebrow raised at Zack.

"So . . . what?" he asked hesitantly.

Everyone was staring at him and he colored slightly.

"So, play us our new song," she answered with a smirk.

"Oh. Right. Okay."

As he prepped to play, Freddy mused that he _never_ seemed that willing to share his work. Well, he was okay playing it around other people but the minute it was going to be taken seriously he got shy. Which was endearing in a way, and just another side to Zack Mooneyham who was one of the most unique guys he'd ever met. So shy sometimes, but definitely witty. He could trade words with the best of them. And he was a rock-god in his own right. Whatever shit was going on elsewhere just ceased to exist the minute he started playing. He was just Zack and he loved what he was doing and he was _good_ at what he was doing and he knew he was good and he wanted _you_ to know he was good.

"You can't put it off all day," Marta told him. "So just play it already."

He rolled his eyes at her.

"Patience _is_ a virtue," he shot back. "Okay, here goes."

The opening strains were fast paced and led into a verse that was all hard notes. There was a bridge into the chorus that slowed to an almost grating pace and the chorus itself was a combination of it all, fast and hard before slowing at the last four count before diving right back into the opening strains in straight into another verse. The whole time, Zack was in full concentration mode.

It always entailed him playing as if no one was watching, eyes closed, lips slightly parted. He was in his own world and, Freddy realized, he was beautiful. Not conventionally so. Not like some blonde dickhead being payed more money than they knew what to do with to indulge women everywhere in some cheap fantasy. Not that Freddy didn't appreciate said blonde dickheads; they could be very appealing. Zack was also not a dime-a-dozen model in a GAP add with his pants unbuttoned and half naked and done up in some black-and-white picture looking fabulous and aroused in sub-zero temperatures. Again, appreciated, but not _real_. Not even close.

Zack was real, but there was more to it then just that. He couldn't put his finger on it, and before he could even start to put it into words Zack was done and everyone was applauding. He blushed and rolled his eyes again.

"Thanks," he said, folding up the piece of paper and tucking it into his pocket. "I haven't written any lyrics yet so it's not completely finished."

"Well it's awesome," Alicia assured him. "But the three of us are bored and want to sing to something, so let's get to it."

"What do you guys wanna play?" he asked, turning to Freddy, Lawrence and Katie.

They all shrugged. Well, Lawrence and Katie shrugged. Freddy was still a bit out of it and so his non-answer was as good as a shrug.

"I want to hear 'Red Ceiling'," Billy said from where he was flipping through a fashion magazine.

"I didn't know we were taking requests," Lawrence said.

Freddy smirked at Billy's reaction. The brunette looked at Lawrence for a moment, not sure if he was serious or being sarcastic and by the time he'd thought up a proper reply, Katie was playing the song's intro.

For the first verse and chorus Freddy had nothing to do but sit and watch. Usually he watched Katie because if he stared long enough she'd feel his eyes on her and glare at him or smile. Today he kept his eyes on Zack. The guitarist, who had taken over the job of vocalist when Dewey had officially turned the band over to them, closed his eyes when he sang the opening line. Freddy never noticed it before, but thinking back quickly, Zack always did that. When they were doing a set and that song started he'd close his eyes for that first line and open them up when it was finished and he did that like religion. It was the same with how he always played a song for the first time in full-concentration mode.

Freddy was suddenly fascinated and even when the girls joined on the chorus and he prepped to enter the song, he stared at Zack. There was something gorgeous about him that had as much to do with his sex appeal as it did with that intangible _Zackness_ that had him so captivated out of fuckin' nowhere. And he knew, as the practice progressed, that _this_ was what he wanted to capture on paper. _This_ was what he wanted to spend hours sketching and painting, poring over the littlest details because he was perfect and _this_ had to be perfect.

When practice ended, Summer was on her newest cellphone and sounded like she was haggling. No one dared to bother her when she was haggling, though she didn't mind it as much if Katie or Zack did it. Still, they were going back and forth like crazy so everyone came to a silent and unanimous decision to leave her be. They asked Dewey what it was all about since he was sure to know, but he was keeping whatever it was under wraps.

"We're taking care of it," was all he told them.

So they all filed out with nothing else to talk about and homework to get to. Zack was one of the first out, calling goodbye to everyone and rolling his eyes at the compliments of his new song. Lawrence and Marta followed him out, Tomika and Alicia on their heels. Billy showed Dewey some ideas for new outfits and then left in a huff about how utterly _unappreciated_ he was. Summer waved off Katie who was going to stay behind to talk to her, mouthing 'call me' and then saying something to the person on the other line about being stubborn. Freddy waited for Katie to pack up her sketchbook and pencils and then they left together.

"You know," she said conversationally. "You are the most _obvious_ person I've ever met."

He frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She snorted.

"Please! You practically burned a hole through Zack's clothes with your eyes during practice."

"Did not!"

"Did so!" She shook her head. "Understandable. I'd do him. You know, if circumstances were different."

He smirked.

"You mean, if you _weren't_ a lesbian?"

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Anyway, I'll admit that it was definitely new. You've never stared at him like that before."

Which sent Freddy into a dissertation on how perfect he was for the art project.

"I've got the idea in my head. I can see it and all I need is him. He'll make it work. He'll make it _perfect_."

She shrugged.

"So ask him. He probably won't mind."

Freddy sighed.

"Yeah . . . I will. I just . . . you think he'll think I'm weird?"

She gasped and placed a hand over her heart.

"Freddy Jones? _Weird_? Perish the thought!"

He glared at her and they got into a small spat about how weird he was, which inevitably ended with his concession. Because, really, she had a point.

He left her at her door, teasing her about something or another and promising to be online so she could recount every single 'um' and 'uh' during her phone conversation with Summer. He got home, noticed his parents weren't around which was a shock, and made his way up to his room. He toyed with the idea of doing homework while he logged online. But really, what kind of teenage guy would he be if he went home and started his homework right away? Instead he grabbed his sketchpad and a mechanical pencil and twenty minutes later found Zack Mooneyham's face staring back at him.

_Perfect_, he thought.


	2. Chapter Two

Imitation of Life  
By: Lady DeathAngel  
Disclaimer: not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said  
Warnings: language, discussion of homosexuality and abortion which are heavy issues and bring up points that not everyone will agree with  
A/N: So, I finally wrote it! Jeez, took me freakin' long enough. ::shakes head:: Anyway, it's a bit darker in tone than the last chapter but it was how I was feeling at the moment and flowed better than any other time I've tried to write this chapter. And believe me, I've started and restarted this too many times to count. It's all pretty much pre-slash for now, but eventually Zack and Freddy will be together. And Summer and Katie? Who knows .. . not even I do, which is sad. Thanks for all the lovely feedback so far and please continue toread, enjoy, and review!

Sometimes Katie wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep and never wake up. Which wasn't a typical Katie mood. She was generally the kind of girl with a fair attitude, not quite positive and not quite negative. She was the kind of girl that people wanted to be around because she wasn't too high-maintenance. But there were days when it was too much and she didn't want to have to deal with anything anymore ever.

Her mom passed it off as a teenage thing. Something that all teens went through. Something normal and not to be blown out of proportion. But it was different for Katie the same way it was different for Billy and for Freddy.

The three of them had known they were gay for years. Freddy had fought with it, Katie knew. He'd dated girl after girl freshman year and he'd gone through a pretty serious bout of depression the year after that before finally realizing he couldn't change who he was. Billy had always known, or so he said. It was something he'd had to embrace because it wasn't something he could hide very well. And Katie had suspected for a long time. She'd never been boy-crazy, never cared about clothes or movie stars or anything that other girls cared about. She'd gone out on a limb and asked her mother about it once, why she didn't like the things that other girls liked. Her mom had just said it was because she went to such a strict school. But by the time she'd turned thirteen Katie knew she was a lesbian and that she was in love with Summer Hathaway and that nothing would ever change that.

It was probably the hardest thing she'd ever gone through, being in love with someone she could never have. She didn't struggle as much as Freddy had, but neither was she okay with it like Billy was. She hurt every day and had done so for the past four years. For a while she'd have violent mood swings, going from elated to sullen to angry all because life was unfair and she hated being in love and she hated herself but it was so good when Summer would hug her or smile or laugh with her . . . and then Billy sat her down and they had 'The Talk'. The, 'We're gay and so we can't show any weakness because the rest of the world will feed on it like vultures feed on dead carcasses' talk.

It was the reason Katie didn't let anyone else see her depressed. It was the reason she swallowed her anger and hurt like a jagged pill and fought hard to be the Out and Proud lesbian that complimented the Out and Proud fags perfectly. It was the same talk that saved Freddy from self-destruction. It was the same talk that Billy used to fortify himself every day. It was the talk that no one else would understand because how could they? This was not their lot in life.

For the most part, it was easy for her. She had Billy and Freddy after all, two people who understood her in a way that no one else did. But it was hard sometimes too.

Like now. She had asked Summer to pose for her project, they'd set aside time that week to do it, and it was a sealed deal. She should have been elated, but she was miserable instead. The fantasy worlds that she created with Freddy were all in fun and the jokes didn't mean anything when, at the end of the day, Summer was only her best friend and would always only be her best friend.

"Life sucks," she muttered, spearing something vaguely reminiscent of a carrot in shape and color, with her spork. "Life sucks like a whore," she elaborated more vehemently. "And if life were a man, I'd cut off his dick and make him eat it."

Freddy let out a low whistle.

"Wow. Graphic. What's up? You're not your usual cheery self."

She glared at the mushy, orangish blob on the end of her spork.

"Of course I'm not. I've only been in love with the same unattainable person for four years. I'm only painting said unattainable person for my art assignment which means I will only be staring at said unattainable person's face every day for the next two weeks. I'm so sick and tired of this . . . you try being cheery under those circumstances."

She was purposefully not looking at her friend, but after a moment he tilted her face up to his and she found herself blinking tears away so that she could focus on his blue eyes. He was frowning slightly and finally he stood and pulled her up.

"Come on," he said softly, draping and arm around her shoulders and ushering her out of the school's cafeteria. "You," he said as they walked. "Are just damn lucky you had your breakdown while everyone else was out enjoying their off-campus lunch privileges."

She wanted to retort that if he hadn't been back late every day the previous week he'd be out enjoying said off-campus lunch privileges, but when she opened her mouth all that came out was a hoarse squeak. She sniffled after a moment.

"I'm sorry."

Freddy shook his head and pulled her into a small sitting area outside of the library.

"Don't worry about it. I'm here, okay? So you can cry or threaten to castrate life or whatever."

She nodded and he wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. She looped her own around his waist and pressed her face into the crook of his neck.

"I hate this," she whispered, trying desperately not to cry. "I hate wanting her to love me back so bad it hurts."

He sighed.

"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to choose her as your subject," he said softly.

"I know," she agreed. "But I couldn't help it."

"Yeah, I guess that's the problem with us homosexuals," he said drily. "We just can't help it."

She snickered and relaxed a bit in his arms.

"I'm okay now, I think. At least, I'm not tweaking out anymore."

"Just so you know," he told her, leaning back to smirk at her. "You only have one breakdown left for this month. I say, choose it wisely."

She rolled her eyes. She knew it. She, Billy, and Freddy had decided that they were each allowed two emotional breakdowns a month. Other than that it was their job to be upbeat and as with it as possible. They'd each cashed in a couple of times, but only with each other. This was the first emotional episode she'd had in a few months though, and she pointed it out.

"Whatever," he said. "You can't save them up. If we let you do that you'd set aside, like, three weeks to do nothing but cry and mope and threaten people."

"I would not!" she shot back, laughing. "I'm more mature than you, Freddy. And Billy too, come to that."

He shook his head.

"We are very mature for our age, and especially for being young men our age. Technically, we should only have developed the equivalent of the emotional and mental capacity of neanderthals. But no, we are on par with actual human beings. You should give us props for that."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh-huh."

"Exactly."

"Anyway," she said as they walked back into the cafeteria. "Have you asked Zack yet?"

"Asked me what?"

Freddy jumped and clutched at his heart.

"Fucking _hell_!" he breathed. "You scared the shit outta me, Zack!"

The dark-haired boy gave him a look that said clearly he wasn't sorry.

"Um, sorry about that," he said, and Freddy glared at him incredulously. "Anyway, ask me what?"

"To marry me," Freddy said with the air of having announced something obvious. "Katie has generously offered her womb out to house our future children, by the way. Want me to jerk you off into a cup or do want to do me?"

Katie smacked him upside the head.

"Freddy!" she said so loudly several heads turned. "You could ask me before renting out my body for reproductive purposes! God."

He just smirked and Zack, she could see, was trying hard not to laugh at her. She heaved a long-suffering sigh and grabbed Freddy by the arm, tugging him toward the table they'd abandoned earlier.

"Coming?" she asked Zack.

He looked like he was ready to follow them but a strident female voice cut through the air and Freddy rolled his eyes.

"You're being paged," he said, nodding to the girl who was running up to them. "Guess you'll just have to jerk me off later."

"I won't forget to pencil you in," Zack said.

"Do you know how gay that sounded?"

Their friend just raised his eyebrows in a 'no shit' sort of way and then he was being dragged off by The Leech. How _that_ had happened, no one knew. Alice Leary was the leader of the school's vast-and-still-growing legion of label whores. They were all about the 'bling-bling', the biggest jewelry, the nicest shoes, purses, nail and hair jobs, and, of course, the most impressive labels. They dated for money usually, though a few of them had hooked up with various guys around the school to dispel rumors or to get back at someone. They were disgusting and Alice was the worst.

She'd started hanging around Zack earlier in the year and showed no signs of just disappearing and when she'd first become an ornament of sorts on the guitarist, Freddy, Katie, Summer and several other members of the band had raised eyebrows. Hell, the whole school had. Especially since Alice wasn't one of the poser label whores. She wasn't into Hot Topic or anything that wasn't distinctively prep in style. And Zack was definitely not prep in style.

Freddy was actually quite convinced that Zack wouldn't know style if it put on a g-string and did a pole dance right in front of him, but that was beside the point. It had been like this for the last three weeks and people were getting used to it. At least, they weren't always talking about Alice and Zack anymore. But Katie and Freddy were now stepping into the territory of more-than-a-little-annoyed and Summer was fucking pissed. She hated Alice. With a fiery passion that she only usually reserved for her grades. It was almost amusing.

"So . . . ask me what?"

It was fifth period and Zack was walking with Freddy to their next class.

"Hmm?" the blonde asked, not paying much attention. His eyes were, instead, on Katie and Summer who were laughing about something, leaning on each other and giggling madly.

He felt really bad about the whole situation. Unrequited love wasn't something he'd had much patience for ever. He didn't bother falling for straight guys and when he did, which was rare, he did his best to get over it as soon as possible. It was a waste of energy and it was painful. Seeing Katie suffer through it for the better part of four years had only convinced him that his method was the best.

"Earlier Katie said you had to ask me something."

Freddy pretended to try and remember and, in the process, was reminded of something else.

"Oh shit. Did we have homework?" he asked.

Zack sighed and nodded.

"Yep."

"Great. What was it? Can I see yours?"

"It was an analysis of the story we read last night. _White Elephant_."

Freddy thought back and then grinned.

"Oh, I remember! The one about the chick and the dude and the abortion, right?"

Zack nodded again and smirked.

"You do know that now Connally's gonna ask you to read yours to the class. She always does that when you don't have your homework."

"And," Freddy said. "I always know my shit. I just don't have it written down to turn in."

Zack rolled his eyes and they walked into class and settled into their desks, one beside the other.

"So, was that what you wanted to ask me?"

"Um . . . no."

The dark-haired boy looked at him expectantly. Freddy fiddled with his pencil and tapped his foot and then decided that just blurting it out would be his best bet. So he opened his mouth and was about to say, "Zack, would you please let me use you as the subject for my art project?" but what came out was, "Zack, would you pose naked for me?" and there was a moment of Freddy staring at Zack completely serious and Zack staring back before he started laughing.

"This is about that art project right? Summer was telling me that Katie asked her the same thing. Well . . . not the _same_ thing."

Freddy nodded and smirked.

"Yes well, among us queers, Katie's definitely the one with the tight moral code."

"I figured."

Freddy cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"So? Will you do it?"

Unfortunately, it looked like Freddy would have to wait a bit for reply because the bell rang at that moment and Aurora Connally stood up and barked for them to be quiet. She took attendance like she usually did, barely glancing up from her slip, just yelling names and waiting two seconds for a reply of 'here' or 'present' or the occasional 'uh . . . what?'. And then class started and Freddy knew this would be a bad day. She was glaring daggers at them and then it started.

"Freddy, what did you think of the story?"

He shrugged and leaned back, still tapping his foot.

"I thought the guy in it was disgusting," he replied.

"Any particular reason why?" she asked, giving him an assessing look.

"Because he's sitting there, telling this girl to get an abortion, that it'll be quick and easy and painless. Like he even knows."

"Well, it's obvious that they aren't ready to be parents. It's probably better if she gets the abortion anyway. He's just looking out for what's better for her," Sam Huebner, resident jock and enemy of Freddy's since freshman year, cut in.

"That's just stupid," Alicia cut in from where she sat, across the room.

Marta nodded.

"Hands please!" Connally yelled.

Alicia put hers up without looking at their teacher and glared, instead, at Sam.

"It's none of his business. If she wants to keep it, she can. And if she wants an abortion she can do that too, but he can't sit there telling her it's not gonna hurt and that it'll be quick just because it's what _he_ wants."

"But it's his baby too," Tracy Lourdes cut in, Sam and a few others nodding. "She can't just make the decision by herself. She should listen to what he wants."

"Yeah, it's his baby too," Zack said quietly, but with enough force to make everyone shut up and listen. "When he wants to kill it. But if he wanted to keep the baby everyone in this room would be saying he needs to back off and let her make the choice. That he has no right to his own opinion."

"Zack! That's enough! I told you to raise your hand."

Zack glared at her but Freddy noticed no one was arguing with him.

"I," Connally continued. "Do not want to make this into a pro-choice vs. pro-life issue."

Freddy snorted. Connally got off on getting her students hot and bothered and angry and then telling them to knock it off, shut up, and turn in their homework. Today was no different, but everyone was a little more bothered that usual. This story had hit on serious issues that weren't to be discussed in school. That, if a lot of people had their druthers, wouldn't be discussed period.

Freddy knew that Zack was very much pro-life and that Alicia and Marta were violently pro-choice, along with many in their class. Freddy, himself, was a little bit of both, just like Billy and Katie. The four of them were against abortion but freedom of choice was a huge deal. After all, there were hundreds of thousands of people lining up to take away Freddy's own freedoms to live as he wanted with who he wanted. He hated seeing someone's freedom to choose taken away from them by someone who thought they knew better or who just felt like they had that right.

He spent the rest of the class agitated and fidgety and by the time the bell rang he was ready to get as far away from everyone in the room as possible. Except for Zack. He still had to talk to Zack.

"Rough class, huh?" Freddy commented as they left the room.

Zack nodded slowly and then grinned.

"I'll do it," he said without preamble and Freddy raised an eyebrow.

"You sure? Even if you need to pose naked?"

The dark-haired boy laughed.

"Yeah. It's not every day, after all, that someone says they like my face enough to stare at it for hours on end."

Freddy just grinned.

"Well, I say, enjoy it while it lasts. After this I'll probably be tired of looking at you."

They both snickered and went their separate ways down the hall. Katie caught up to Freddy a few feet away from their art class.

"So?" he asked. "How goes it?"

"Better," she replied. "And you?"

He smiled.

"Great."


	3. Chapter Three

Imitation of Life  
By: Lady DeathAngel  
Disclaimer: not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said  
Warnings: language, sexual content  
A/N: so, basically this chapter wrote itself so quickly because I actually have a bit of direction for this story. Leastways, the Katie/Summer aspect of it. I'm still working on Freddy and Zack, but that'll come in time. Um, this will probably be a bit hard for me to write. What happens to Summer actually happened to me and it's not something I've written about since it did happen, even though I've wanted to. I just felt that it would be a good conflict and, in the end, it helped me decide whether or not Katie and Summer would get together or not, and how it would happen. Expect lots of angst, much of it coming from the rediscovery of Zack and Summer's sexual identities. I think that's it for now. Don't expect an update to come as quickly as this one did. Still working on These Things, which isn't meant to be quite as heavy as this one so it's a nice break. Also, fighting with my Furuba fic and with a Witch Hunter Robin fic I've just started. In the meantime, please read, enjoy, and review. I love hearing from you. .

--- (

Sometimes Zack had a hard time differentiating his dreams from his reality. Not so much when he was actually awake and _doing_ something, but during those half-lucid moments before falling into a deep sleep or before waking up he would wonder if maybe _this_ was real and he wasn't. Summer said maybe it was just one of the perils of being an artist, but Zack told himself it was just that the first time he'd seen the Matrix he hadn't slept in nearly two days and it had obviously made an impact on him. A big impact.

And besides. It wasn't a 'peril'. It was kind of handy, actually. He'd have strange epiphanies in his sleep that inspired his most kick-ass songs and that wasn't something that would ever go unappreciated. But he didn't know what to think of this particular dream.

He assumed, as he watched it all play out before him, that it was a direct result of Freddy propositioning him earlier by saying "Will you pose naked for me?" and not a result of any feelings buried deep in his subconscious. Not that he had a problem with it . . . well . . . he wasn't sure if he did or not. It certainly didn't seem like his dream self had any problem at all with posing naked, or half, in this case, while Freddy sketched him out.

He thought that it should have seemed stupid and instead it was oddly intimate. He was sitting in on Freddy's unmade bed, Indian style, with his head leaning back against the wall, his dark eyes trained on the blonde who was sketching quickly. Zack mused that if he ever tried to draw that fast he'd come out with scribbles, but he knew, without actually seeing the work of art, that it would look like him, and not just like him, but like him the way Freddy saw him.

In this dream state everything moved in real time and it was so silent in the room that Zack could hear two calm inhales and exhales just below the sound of a pencil on paper.

"I'm almost done," Freddy said. "So don't move an inch, okay?"

"'kay."

A few more moments of mad sketching and then it stopped. Freddy looked down at his sketchpad and then back up at Zack, down and up, down, shaded a little, back up, and he pronounced it finished.

"Let me see it," Zack demanded from where he'd finally relaxed his position on the bed.

Freddy moved to sit next to him and showed him the sketch. And it was just as Zack had known it would be and ten times better. He traced over the pencil planes of his face with a reverent finger and let out a low whistle.

"It's perfect," he said softly, because any other word seemed inadequate.

And that was when the dream got . . . odd. Zack dreamed about Freddy all the time and every time it felt different. Depending on how they were, if they were closer than normal or fighting or irritated with each other, whatever, his dreams of the drummer would reflect that. This time there was a heaviness to the air that had nothing to do with a feeling and everything to do with anticipation. Freddy was staring at Zack intently and the dark-haired boy looked up slowly.

"That's because," the blonde murmured, lifting a hand to ghost his fingertips over Zack's cheekbones . . . the bridge of his nose . . . the indent of his upper lip and the swell of the lower . . . "That's because," he repeated. "_You're_ perfect."

Zack's skin tingled where he'd been caressed and the sensation was only enhanced by the knowledge that Freddy was leaning in, sliding his hand over his jawline and into his hair. And then they were kissing and that feeling of anticipation exploded sharply in the feel of soft lips, warm and quirked up at the corners, in the hot wet of tongues sliding over and under, teasing and licking . . . it was too much and not enough and Zack was suddenly aware of how much he _wanted_ this boy, in this bed, at this moment. It wasn't even a dream anymore. It just was.

An invasive wail of sirens outside of his window woke Zack up. He blinked slowly, losing the warmth of the body he could have sworn was next to him, his lips dry and unkissed, and his boxers distinctly wet and sticky. With a groan he threw his arm over his eyes. He'd just had a wet dream. A wet dream about Freddy Jones.

What the fuck?

— (

It was a fact duly noted, that Zack was definitely out of it. Summer would have chalked it up to being a Friday, only it was Thursday and the dark-haired boy had only depressed himself further by forgetting and realizing he had another day to go before the blessed weekend. She would have chalked it up to a fight with his parents, but he'd told her they were out of town (again) and wouldn't be back for at least a week and a half, probably more. She lost things to blame it on after a while and by lunchtime, she was irritated because while other people had a bitch of a time reading him, Summer _always_ knew what he was thinking. Always, except for today.

"Where are we going for lunch?" she asked as they walked to the cafeteria. "Because I thought we'd just hang out here with Freddy and Katie. They can't go off campus until Monday so . . ." She trailed off at the look he shot her and she stopped abruptly, causing someone behind her to stumble and flip her off. "What . . . you're not fighting with Freddy _again_ are you?"

Zack rolled his eyes and started walking again.

"I never fight with Freddy. You just can't stay mad at that kid."

She smirked.

"You did a damn good impression of it, then, when he told you Alice only liked you for your money and possibly the size of your . . ."

"Yeah," Zack cut in. "But that just hit a little to close to home and it was only a week."

Summer huffed and thought back. Only a week, sure. Only a week's worth of angry silences and glares and the occasional sarcastic remark or two which culminated in a big fight in the middle of Dewey's loft. They would have thrown fists, too, if Lawrence and Tomika hadn't stepped in. After that they cussed at each other a little until they felt better and things went back to normal. She didn't think, though, that she could handle another fight between the two.

"Well, what is it then? Because you've been acting weird all day and I want to know why."

He sighed and turned the most interesting shade of red before mumbling something about a dream.

"What?"

"I had a dream. _You know_."

She nodded and frowned.

"About who? Katie? Because she is, as you well know, a lesbian and totally wouldn't go for you."

"She would if she wasn't gay." Summer lifted a skeptical eyebrow and Zack smirked. "She told me so."

"Well, if it wasn't about Katie then . . . oh. _Oh_."

"Yeah '_oh_'."

Summer tried very, very hard to keep a straight face. She really did. But it was freakin' hilarious and after a moment she burst out laughing so hard she had to hold onto Zack's shoulders. He sighed and held her upright as they finally reached Freddy and Katie's usual table.

"What's up with her?" Freddy asked, pointing at a still hysterically giggling Summer with a french fry.

She took one look at Freddy and cracked up again. Zack shook his head.

"It's nothing."

Katie looked from him to Summer and back before crossing her arms over her chest.

"No, seriously, what's up?"

Summer finally composed herself and took a deep breath, leaning over to whisper in Katie's ear. Zack's face, if at all possible, went two shades darker than his usual deep blush and when Katie started laughing as well, he was practically glowing. Freddy looked at them all, asked "What?" in a petulant tone and was only rewarded with more laughter and an almost inaudible groan from Zack.

"This must be the rowdy table," a deep voice said from somewhere behind them.

Summer immediately stopped laughing and went very still.

"I thought," a female voice that belonged to Alice, said. "That me and a few of my friends would come over and keep you company Zack."

"Um . . ." Zack said, all intelligent like.

"What are we?" Katie muttered. "Chopped liver?"

"Now, now, that's much too cliched. And Zack's such a freak he probably _likes_ chopped liver." Freddy told her.

"Excuse me?" Zack exclaimed and Summer snorted.

"Pot," she said, pointing from Freddy to Zack. "I'd like you to me meet Kettle. I'm sure you'll be such good friends."

Freddy rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. I'm not really that much of a freak."

Katie laughed and then deepened her voice.

"What about you, Freddy? What do you like to do?"

"I dunno," Summer answered in a high-pitched tone. "Burn stuff."

Freddy frowned as Zack, Summer, and Katie started laughing hysterically.

"Oh. My. God. I was _ten_! When the fuck are you gonna let that go?"

"Come on," Zack wheedled. "It's still funny."

"_Oo_kay," Alice said, cutting off any response the blonde might have made. "Well, can you make room, please?"

Summer and Katie shared a look as two girls with long legs and short skirts shoved their books onto their laps and sat down, opening up brown lunch bags and fishing around in them for the least fattening thing stuffed in there. Alice sat down, practically on Zack's lap, and purred something about how good he smelled.

"Zack always smells good," Freddy said. "It's one of his finer qualities."

She curled her lip at him.

"I don't even want to know why you pay attention to how Zack smells," she said acidly, omitting the word 'fag' at the end even though everyone heard it.

Summer bristled but a hand on her thigh stopped her from gutting the pretentious little slut. She jumped and glanced sideways to see Chris, the guy who'd first announced their presence at their table. He was cute in a . . . guyish sort of way. Not like Freddy was hot or Zack was hot. They were enough to make heads turn and when they _played_ it was like they were gods. Chris just sort of _was_. She didn't know him that well, had only noticed him before because he was always hanging on other girls. He was the sensitive artist with a sense of humor and a rebellious streak. He was always in trouble, always drawing something outstanding, always telling the story of how he'd taught himself to play classical guitar, always hanging around playing songs for his adoring fans.

Summer had always wanted to tell him that he could never be Zack. Zack with his natural talent and humility and the record deals that their band still couldn't quite grasp the concept of, even after five years. But he tried his hardest. And he was so much more attainable than Zack because he was a manwhore and a braggart and she'd hated him for resenting her friends. Until he'd started to notice her.

It had happened around a week before Alice started to leech off of Zack. Before then the girl had simply been around, seeking tutoring from both Summer and the guitarist. She'd been friendly, if a bit stupid. They'd been working together in the library, Chris off in a corner with a group of friends.

"He wants her body," she said when a girl walked up and started to talk to him.

"Why do I care?" Summer muttered, blushing and looking away.

Alice just smirked and whispered, "He wants _your_ body too."

"That's stupid!" she'd said so loudly the librarian had rushed over on her spindly legs to tell her to shut up or get out.

Alice just shrugged and Summer assured herself that the bitch had just been joking. After all, Summer wasn't the type of girl that guys wanted. She was smart and the manager of a band that had put out a multi-platinum album and was currently working on material for another. She was, like Zack, unattainable and totally not hot or sexy or anything like that. And then, after Alice got to be a nuisance, Chris started talking to her.

No, not really talking. More like feeling her up in dark hallways. Always asking if she wanted to fondle him or if she wanted him to fondle her. Her answer was always a half-assed 'no' and she'd spend a few minutes with his hand on her chest or between her legs, looking around scared she'd get caught and pushing his hands away almost playfully. Sometimes he'd put her hand on his dick which was . . . odd. She didn't like the way it felt in her hand under all those layers of denim and cotton and she didn't know what to do anyway. He tried to teach her and he thought it was fun.

She didn't know what to think. In fact, she didn't. Think, anyway. Her mind just kind of shut off and afterward she justified it by saying at least he wanted her and she'd never been wanted before. That part of it was kind of . . . nice.

"I'm . . . I've got to go to the bathroom," Summer announced loudly, dislodging the hand that had steadily been making its way upward. "Katie?"

The other girl, who's eyes had been trained on her leg stood slowly and nodded.

"Be back," she told Freddy.

He made a face and mouthed 'Take me with you'. She just gave him a little wave with her fingers and she and Summer walked across the cafeteria to the bathroom.

"No," Summer whispered. "Come on."

She grabbed Katie's hand and tugged her along and out of the crowded room altogether. She ushered her down a hallway and too a small, empty classroom. Once they were in there she turned and hugged her best friend to her tightly. The taller girl was stiff in her arms for a moment and then she hugged her back.

"What was up with Chris?"

"He was just . . . playing around."

There was a pause and then Katie nodded, her chin moving over the top of Summer's head.

"He like you?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Do you like him?"

Summer sighed.

"I don't know. Maybe I could?"

Katie laughed softly.

"Why are you asking me?"

"Because you always know the answers to all my problems."

"Don't see what the problem is." From where Summer's forehead was pressed against Katie's throat, she felt the other girl swallow hard. "If he likes you and you like him back you should go for it. And if he breaks your heart I'll break his dick."

Summer laughed drily and muttered 'thank you'. She had no real reason to tell him no, when she thought about it. Maybe it would be nice to be his girlfriend . . . not that he'd asked her out but he seemed to like her well enough. Right? So . . . she had no reason to be so conflicted about this . . . right? She could give it a try. That would be okay.


	4. Chapter Four

Imitation of Life  
By: Lady DeathAngel  
Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.  
Warnings: excessive drug use, as well as alcohol consumption and some sexuality.  
A/N: yes, so, I'm really tired and this is what happens when I'm tired. Chapters write themselves in the most fucked up ways imaginable. :cough: So, don't do this at home, kids! And, don't hate me for taking so long to update. I had a serious case of writer's block. I'll try to refrain from taking so long in the future. In the meantime, please continue to ready, enjoy, andreview because I love y'all for it!

Katie didn't know when it had become a good idea to get stoned three hours before she was due at some coffee house event the school was having, but that was exactly what she was doing. She was sitting in Freddy's baked bathroom, her head in his lap, Billy's in hers, looking up, up, up at the black and white tiled ceiling.

"She lets him fondle her," she muttered, her breath barely disturbing the thick smoke hanging above her.

"How do you know?" Billy asked, taking their second joint from Freddy's lax fingers and savoring his umpteenth hit.

"I saw him. He had his hand on her thigh and she didn't care." She paused long enough to take a hit of her own. "Marta told me about it a while ago. She says that they're fucking in the hallways."

Freddy snorted.

"C'mon, _Summer_? And _Chris_? Even she has better taste than that."

"Mmmm. I dunno."

It was fast turning into one of those maudlin highs, the kind that weren't fun because there was a severe lack of insane giggling and an overabundance of self-reflection.

"I think we need to get laid," Billy finally declared.

Freddy laughed.

"You always say that. Sex is your solution to every problem."

"It works wonders," he declared.

"Some of us are saving ourselves for that special someone."

Billy rolled his eyes slowly.

"Right. Losers."

"Besides, there's not time," Freddy continued. "That coffee house thing is in thirty minutes and Zack will be here any minute now."

For some reason, Katie thought they all ought to be more concerned about that. But they weren't. In fact, they lounged around until Freddy's cellphone blared Zack's annoying, distinctive ringtone and the blonde answered.

"Yo," he muttered. "Um . . . the door's open, why don't you just come up? We don't feel like moving."

Billy giggled and Katie almost smiled.

"Uh-huh. Yep. How'd you guess?" Freddy laughed and then hung up. Minutes later the door swung open to reveal Zack, looking down at them with one eyebrow raised.

"That always looks so cool when I'm stoned," Billy commented. "How do you do that?"

The eyebrow twitched.

"You can do it too."

"Oh. Right."

Zack coughed slightly and then laughed.

"Shit, how long have you guys been in here?"

"Um . . ." Katie thought back, trying to remember. "Two hours? Two and thirty minutes? Yeah, that's it."

Zack rolled his eyes.

"Well get up you idiots."

It took a few minutes and a lot of groans and giggles, but eventually they'd all righted themselves.

"Okay," Freddy said, passing the joint around for one last hit each. "We're fortified enough to handle this, now, let's go."

The trip to the school was amusing, only because Zack was regaling them all with tales of how Alice had cornered him with tickets to the Sadie Hawkins dance the following Saturday.

"I swear to God I don't remember agreeing to go."

"Were you drunk when it happened, by any chance?" Freddy asked.

It was a well known fact that Zack was easy when he was drunk. He'd agree to anything.

"Probably," he admitted. "In fact, I bet it was at that party a few weeks ago at Dylan's place."

Katie nodded. She remembered that party. She'd made out with Dylan's older sister at the party.

"I remember that party. I made out with his sister at that party," she said.

"Really?" Billy said, sounding shocked. "So did I!"

Freddy snorted and then started laughing uncontrollably.

"You're shitting us," he said.

Billy frowned and tried to remember if he was or not.

"No . . . I thought she was a drag queen."

"At a highschool party?"

"Well . . . when you put it that way . . ."

"You guys are so fucked up," Zack declared.

Katie laughed.

"Obviously. Summer's gonna be pissed."

"She'll just be jealous that she missed out," Freddy said.

"I'm so sure," Zack deadpanned.

—(

As it turned out, Summer was not pissed. In fact, she was so glad to see her friends that she didn't notice their collective stoned status until they'd all settled at a table and cracked up at the completely unfunny smiley face that Zack drew resembling Alice or Satan or possibly both.

"He wants me to ask him to the dance," she said once they settled down.

"Who?" Zack asked, slightly out of the loop.

"Chris," she replied. "He said he'd go if I asked him. Should I ask?"

On her left, Katie mumbled something that sounded like, "I am _not_ baked enough for this." On stage some nerdy looking kid in a t-shirt advertising some obscure German metal band started spouting political poetry that had most people filing their nails and laughing at dumb jokes being whispered in their ears.

"I think," Freddy finally said magnanimously. "That this place is depressing, boring, and that it'd be more fun to sneak into Doomsday."

Summer almost argued, but about that time the nerd finished his poem to a smattering of applause and Chris rose to the catcalls and cheers of everyone who'd been ignoring the performances up to that point. He threw her a wink and picked up his guitar. She just knew that any minute he'd start with the cheesy, "This one goes out to a very special girl named Summer," stuff, and she didn't think she could stand it.

"Let's do it," she declared.

Freddy, Billy, and Katie blinked at her slowly and then grinned.

"Awesome," they said together.

Zack just smirked.

"I'll drive."

—(

Doomsday was a club a few miles from the school. The name alone was enough to scare off most people, but it wasn't a BDSM club or anything like that. In fact, most of the people in there looked normal, if a bit . . . half naked at times. Doomsday was, rather, a gay club, and notoriously easy to get into if you knew the right people. Billy had discovered the year before that being associated with School of Rock and Dewey Finn definitely counted as 'the right people' and since then, he, Freddy, and Katie had been regulars.

It was a pretty typical Friday at the club, or so Zack and Summer were being convinced. In all honesty, they'd only ever been inside once, and that was for a gig a few months earlier. It was a bit different to be on the other side of the dance floor, watching boys dry-hump boys and girls oscillate with girls just feet away. Not different bad, Zack decided, watching as two extremely hot, extremely half-naked guys made out. Definitely different good. And then he stopped to think about that thought and the fact that the last two nights had been littered with wet dreams about Freddy Jones and he wondered, vaguely, if he was gay.

"Look!" Billy yelled over the loud, thumping music. "It's Mark!"

Freddy's head immediately shot up and he grinned.

"No shit?"

"No shit! He's dancing with the red-head. You should go say hello and then beg for a blow-job because heaven knows you need one."

Freddy stuck his tongue out, but sauntered over to the dark-haired guy anyway. Zack decided that he was absolutely not jealous, just not quite drunk enough, and waited for drinks to magically appear at their table, no questions asked, before throwing one back with the seasoned smoothness of a professional. Summer and Katie had both wandered off and were dancing together, he noticed, taking the chance to steal Summer's drink since she obviously wouldn't be missing it.

"I hate to leave you alone," Billy said with a smile. "But the guy in the corner obviously wants me."

Zack shrugged.

"Have fun," he said.

The other boy nodded.

"I know I will. But you should try to have some too. I think the guy walking this way'll help see to it."

Zack opened his mouth to ask just what Billy was talking about, but the boy was gone before he got the chance, his place taken by a tall, thin young man in a fishnet shirt and skintight pants. He smiled, raking a hand through his disheveled blonde hair.

"I'm Ryan," he said in a husky voice.

"Zack."

"Wanna dance?"

There was really no reason to say no, and this was as good a chance as any to figure out if maybe he really was gay. Besides, he was just buzzed enough that he didn't much care what happened. So he nodded, let himself be pulled up from his chair, and followed Ryan to the middle of the dance floor. Somewhere off to his left he knew Freddy was basically making out with Mark, Billy was laughing at his latest conquest, and Summer and Katie were smiling like nothing else in the world mattered. Zack decided to try and at least pretend to have fun, even if the body at his back didn't feel quite right. He was too tall, too pretty, too . . . well, too not Freddy. Dancing with him felt off and he had a feeling he looked like an idiot.

He wondered if he'd dance better with Freddy guiding his hips. After all, he knew a thing or two about rhythm that Zack did not. The dark-haired boy closed his eyes as he thought about the drummer pressed against him, swaying to the beat, arms wrapped around him from behind. They'd move together perfectly, Zack knew. And it would be so _hot_, being guided along. He could practically hear Freddy's voice in his ear murmuring "Slower, mmhmmm, just like that," in the deep voice he always used when he was turned on. He wondered if the blonde would kiss him, soft wet kisses behind his ear, or if he'd let his hands wander over his body.

But Ryan wasn't Freddy and Ryan felt wrong and even with his eyes closed, Zack wasn't likely to forget it. So he excused himself and wandered back to the table. So, maybe, he thought, staring absently at his hands, he wasn't gay _exactly_. Maybe he was just in lust with Freddy for some strange reason. Which didn't change anything, really. He could still expect the dreams and the anticipation of being drawn and painted by him. He was still obviously obsessed. And obviously not drunk enough.

—(

Saturday dawned bright and too damned early for Freddy's liking. His head felt fuzzy, his body heavy, and the room was unnaturally warm. It took him a moment to lift his head, but when he finally did he realized that the reason the room felt so warm was because there were five people in it. Summer and Katie were on his bed, curled up together beneath his duvet. Billy was sprawled on his armchair underneath a huge, fuzzy blanket with large wolves on it, staring at him from their upside down position.

The fifth person in the room wasn't visible from Freddy's vantage point for an obvious reason. Zack was currently spooned behind him. It was really a very intimate position that they'd landed themselves in. They were laying in a nest of soft blankets, sheets, and pillows, one of Zack's knees resting between Freddy's thighs, one of his hands pressed against the exposed skin of his belly. The brunette's breath tickled the back of his neck, and he shifted ever so slightly in his sleep, his hold tightening.

Freddy held still a moment before gently disentangling himself and standing up. He made a quick trip to the bathroom and then walked back into his room. No one looked ready to wake up and, truth be told, he wasn't either. So he drew the curtains on his window, conveniently black and heavy enough to block out the sun. With the room comfortably dark again, he walked back over to Zack. The other boy was blinking groggily.

"Did I wake you up?" Freddy asked.

Zack nodded.

"Yeah. 's okay though. Coming back to bed?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

Freddy smiled and laid back down, his back to the other boy. Zack didn't waste any time in curling into him again, putting his arm and leg back where they'd been before. It felt nice, the blonde decided. And he was asleep again within minutes.


	5. Chapter Five

Imitation of Life

By: Lady DeathAngel

Disclaimer: not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.

Warnings: language, bit of angst, bit of fluff

A/N: Yes! So, in celebration of my 31st review (I would say 30th, but I thought that my 31st was very nice and deserved some credit as well) here is chapter 5. Um . . . what to say? Thanks so much everyone for sticking with me! I appreciate it and love you all so much for telling me what you think. It keeps me writing this story which was impossible for the longest time.You make me proud to write slash and femmeslash, especially for this fandom. I'll be working on the next chapter, so until then please read, enjoy, and review.

By the time everyone was finally up and moaning about hangovers and various other aches and pains, it was almost noon. Which was actually early for a group of teenagers that had been up partying well into the a.m. For his part, Freddy felt decidedly relaxed and, it being his house, proceeded to make the usual post-party session breakfast of hot tea, pancakes, and scrambled eggs, passing around Saltine crackers and 7-Up to all the pussies with the upset stomachs.

"So, where's your mom, anyway?" Zack asked, staring down at his plate, wondering if he was sober enough to eat it and not puke it up minutes later.

"Um . . ." Freddy thought back, tapping his fork against his bottom lip. "Oh, right, she's out with George."

Billy snorted.

"Out _where_? She never showed up last night, right?"

"I think he took her on some weekend sojourn to gamble away his social security or something."

Katie laughed, pausing in the relentless chugging of her 7-Up.

"I'll never understand what it is with your mom and all those old guys," she said.

Freddy smirked.

"Me neither. But it's damn convenient. They always suck up to me and buy me shit that I could probably afford but don't want to spend money on."

It wasn't, technically, a convenience that she was always gone, though. Zack's parents took whole months off to go on their marriage reaffirmation trips. One for every affair they got caught indulging in, so they were gone pretty often. Summer's mom worked long hours, Billy's mom was preparing for her older daughter's wedding and spent more time in the next county over with Jenna than she did with her son. Katie's parents were the kind that liked to think they were involved and loving, but were actually pretty oblivious.

Any number of weekends had been spent passed out drunk in empty houses, blissfully unhurried in any attempts to get sober because their parents were so caught up in their own lives they didn't care about any of the usual self-destructive habits their kids had formed.

Not that any of them were bitter or anything.

"So what are we doing today?" Billy asked, rubbing his temples and carefully avoiding looking at the food on the table.

"I'm finishing up my sketches of Summer," Katie said. "And then we're going to a movie."

"Oh, yeah! How're those art projects coming?"

Freddy shrugged.

"Mine's not, actually," he said, turning to Zack. "Wanna stick around? At least then I can get a few sketches done."

The brunette shrugged.

"Yeah, okay."

"I'll probably _really_ get started on mine this week," Katie said. "I just haven't done a sketch that pops, yet."

Billy nodded in understanding and then yawned.

"Well, I've got a date in about," he squinted at the microwave's digital clock. "Two hours. I should probably be going."

"Your keys are under the couch," Freddy said.

Billy stood up.

"Yeah, that's usually where they end up."

For some strange reason, every time Billy drove himself to anyone's house, his keys ended up underneath a couch somewhere. They still had no explanation for it, but Freddy was beginning to wonder if it was some kind of alien conspiracy. Snagging a 7-Up and a handful of crackers, Billy bid everyone adieu and left. By the time his car pulled out from in front of Freddy's house, they had all finished eating and were cleaning up the kitchen.

"Hey," Summer said, tossing her plate into the sink. "Are you guys going to the dance on Saturday?"

Zack nodded morosely while Katie and Freddy both laughed and shook their heads.

"Fuck no," Freddy said. "I'd sooner be caught in bed with Paris Hilton."

"Aw, that wouldn't be so bad," Katie said with a wink.

"Um, ew. Besides, think of all the STD's you could contract just by inhaling her air."

"This is true."

"You guys have to go!" Summer exclaimed. "If I end up going with Chris you have to be there. Please, Katie?"

Oh, great. Freddy watched as Katie caved, no contest. Of course she'd say yes. The love of her life was begging her to do something and she'd never been able to say no to that.

"You too, Freddy," Summer said after Katie nodded her assent.

The blonde chuckled.

"Oh, no. You aren't going to talk me into it."

"Come on," Zack said. "I'm going with Alice but if I can help it, I won't even see her all night. If you're there, at least I'll have an excuse to avoid her." He smirked. "You know you want to."

"Fuck," Freddy exclaimed, raking a hand through his hair. "Fine! God."

Right. No contest. Hell, the fight wasn't even fair. He glanced over at Katie who was smiling and shaking her head.

"Perfect, so now we have to go shopping for suitably shocking outfits."

"Of course," Katie said with a grin.

Freddy sighed and grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter.

"Are we all in?"

—(

Summer didn't know why she'd given Chris her cellphone number. He hadn't given her his, just asked for hers with a wink and a smile. It was possibly because, at the time, he'd had his hand creeping underneath the prep-school issued blazer she always wore. She always found it hard to think logically when he was doing things like that. So she agreed and mechanically recited the number which he dutifully repeated back. A part of her had hoped he would forget, but if the incessant ringing coming from her purse was any indication, he hadn't.

"Just answer it," Katie said.

She sounded irritated, but didn't say anything else. Summer watched with a frown as she moved to examine a blouse that Freddy was wrinkling his nose over.

"Hey," she said wearily.

"Hey!" Chris' voice sing-songed in her ear. "Wanna hang out?"

She shuddered, knowing what he meant when he said 'hang out', and coughed delicately.

"Can't. I'm busy."

"You're just shopping with the homos," he retorted. "You look bored and besides, wouldn't want any of that to rub off on you. It works better for me if you're at least slightly into guys, right?"

Summer nodded compulsively and a polite laugh escaped before she could stop it.

"Where are you?" she asked, finally catching what he said.

"Coming to rescue you," he answered, hanging up.

She blanched and shoved her phone back into her purse, rushing over to Freddy, Zack, and Katie.

"Guys," she whispered. "I–"

A loud voice cut her off.

"Summer!"

Identical looks of disgust flashed over the faces of her friends and it would have been funny if Chris hadn't looped an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. She hated this, didn't like it at all, wanted it to stop . . . but she just couldn't say anything.

"Didn't you promise you'd hang out with me?" he asked in an annoying tone. The kind that only soap opera studs used and the kind that only soap opera sluts fell for.

"I don't think–"

"Well, I'm here now," he said and she could tell he was smirking at her friends. "So let's go."

Summer watched as Katie's lips pinched in.

"She never mentioned making any plans with you," she practically growled.

"In fact, I think she very specifically made sure that her schedule was clear so she could hang out with _us_," Freddy said.

"Yeah, so why don't you get your hands off of her and fuck off?" Zack said it as pleasantly as if he was commenting on the mediocre performance of a band right before their own set, but his eyes were dark and hard.

Taking a deep breath, Summer disentangled herself from Chris and squeezed her eyes shut when his hand lingered on her arm.

"I did promise them and Katie and I have an assignment to work on later," she said slowly. "So I'll see you later."

"Yeah, buh-bye," Zack said with a grin and a wave of his fingers.

Summer didn't turn to see if Chris was gone yet. She moved between Katie and Zack and, when they all started laughing, assumed he was gone.

"Fucker," Freddy muttered.

Summer giggled, relieved, and relaxed slightly.

"Can we just find outfits so we can leave?"

They ended up sticking around for another hour, though. The store was a collective favorite, local and trendy, and, best of all, a complete prep repellant. They could never rush a shopping trip and, with Chris out of her mind, Summer found it easy to pick out an outfit she loved (a black, strapless dress, decorated with cherries, flared at the bottom with red fabric belling it out slightly, ending just above her knees). Zack, who didn't feel like dressing flashy, got a black tie with the words 'Hot Fcuk' printed on the bottom, engulfed in decorative flames. Freddy found a plain, blue shirt so soft to the touch that Katie couldn't stop petting it. The bassist, once she relinquished the drummer's find, chose a purple and black sleeveless top, made to look like a corset, and a pair of black pants that laced up the sides.

The paid for their things with their credit cards (for emergencies only, not that their parents would notice if they did or not) and then left, laughing about stupid things. Freddy drove them all back to his house and they lounged around for a few hours, watching edited versions of rated R movies on the lame, basic cable stations, filling in the blanks with colorful phrases that may or may not have been in the original. Finally, Summer and Katie decided it was time to go. They searched for Katie's keys, found them in Freddy's bathroom, and then took off with cheerful goodbyes.

"Thanks," Summer said as they pulled up in front of Katie's house.

"For what?" the other girl asked.

Summer just grinned.

"For agreeing to go to the dance. For being so awesome."

Katie blushed.

"Um, anytime."

—(

"Okay, so, you can just sit on the bed and get comfortable."

Zack nodded and did as Freddy told him, trying not to feel quite as nervous as he really was. After all, he'd fantasized about this, and not just in his dreams. All day Thursday and all day Friday he'd thought about being drawn by the blonde, about kissing him, about . . . other things too. Most of those other things were just wild guesses as to how . . . well . . . yeah, best not to even _go_ there. Not sitting on Freddy's bed in his dark room. Nope, better to just think about nothing. And especially nothing that involved kisses and moans and blow jobs and . . .

Fuck it. There was no possible way he was going to be able to _avoid_ thinking about it.

"Here, I'm gonna put this lamp on you," Freddy was saying, taking a desk lamp with a swiveling head and adjusting it so that it cast a glow on the left side of Zack's head. "And don't be nervous. Just don't move around too much."

Zack took a deep breath.

"Yeah, okay."

Freddy grinned at him and then flopped back into the chair he'd set up in front of his bed. "You're just so cute when you've got that look on your face," he mumbled, sketching

furiously.

The brunette frowned slightly.

"What look?"

But Freddy didn't answer. He just kept looking up and then back down, sketching and then wiping his fingers across the paper. They came away black every time and Zack would stare at the graphite smudges until he returned to moving the pencil across the paper with fluid movements. After about twenty minutes he flipped the page of his sketchbook, rose and shifted the lamp again.

"You doin' okay?" he asked, fiddling with the light a bit more before going back to his chair.

"Yeah."

"Good. Now, um, just look off to the side, okay? That's good."

Zack carefully avoided looking back over at Freddy and instead examined his room. He'd become quite acquainted with it over the years and, instead of thinking about things that were more than likely going to give him an embarrassing erection that Freddy was bound to notice, he decided to reminisce. Listening to the sounds of lead on paper, he thought back.

Their sixth grade year had been awesome. School of Rock had gotten more exposure than any other band that year and they'd cut an album. But after that the changes started. First Gordon had to move across the country because of his mom's job. Then Marco transferred to another, more affordable prep school. By the time highschool rolled around, it was pretty much just Billy, Lawrence, Freddy, Summer, Katie, Marta, Alicia, and Tomika left from the old crowd.

Lawrence met Dani their second week of school in math club and fell in love. After that, except for band practices, he was always busy doing something academic, something with his girlfriend, or a little bit of both. Marta, Alicia, and Tomika, who had all turned into pretty sexy girls, each in their own way, hit the party scene hard. He had classes with them often, but they were more interested in hanging out with whatever their current, collective, flavor of the week was than doing anything else.

Around that time he got close to Summer. They had plenty of advanced classes together, and they'd been friends for a while up to that point. She'd been best friends with Katie for a while and Katie was close to Billy and Freddy and together, the five of them struck up a sort of bond. There had been plenty of rough times and Katie, Billy, and Freddy had all gone through plenty of shit before eventually coming out. But, despite it all, half of their time was spent together.

Sure, sometimes it had been awkward. Zack didn't know a damn thing about being gay (at the time, anyway. He was starting to get an inkling of how hard it was to deal with) and neither did Summer. But they were all that they had left of a childhood they still thought back on fondly, a childhood that no one else would ever be able to lay claim to so they hung out together, got drunk for the first time together, got hungover for the first time together, swore off alcohol forever for the first time together, and a ton of other important things besides.

Sometimes it was at Zack's house, but only when he was sure his parents were going to be gone. Sometimes it was Summer's, Billy's, or Katie's. Mostly it was Freddy's because his room was, by far, the coolest.

Up until the eighth grade, he'd had a pretty standard room. And then his mom had met the Love of Her Life, a rich, much older man who started off a string of bad relationships with rich, much older men. To try and get into Freddy's good graces, he offered to convert the entire top level of their house into his own bedroom. It wasn't a huge space, but it was more sizable than the standard attic and the renovations had paid off. Freddy, who never liked the man but milked him for all he was worth, had the most comfortable bedroom and luxurious bathroom of any of them.

He'd added a lot of things since then. Gone were the pictures of half-naked women and in their place were posters of gay European bands and 'boy-touching' posters of other rock bands that he liked, his own artwork, tons of candid pictures of him and his friends, a Queer As Folk poster or two, and a ton of bumper stickers that read things like, "I don't even think straight." Billy thought none of it was cohesive, but his own room was a lot of bright colors and fancy duvet covers that sometimes made Zack's eyes hurt. Not that he'd ever say anything, lest he offend the other boy. Billy was such a fashion queen sometimes.

Zack's own room was as bare as it had been years ago since his parents didn't really want him putting up too many posters or pictures and definitely wouldn't have held with pro-gay bumper stickers. Katie's was pretty normal, all decked out in varying shades of purple with a few posters and paintings, and Summer's was practical with cream walls and only a few pictures of friends on her night stand. The difference between all of theirs was that Freddy's seemed lived in and it was incredibly welcoming. His mom didn't care. She was actually fairly supportive, when she wasn't off with someone way too old for her, and thought it was a good thing that he 'knew who he was' at such a young age.

Zack wondered, vaguely, how one 'knew who he was', and didn't even realize he was asking the question until it was hanging in the air between him and Freddy.

"How did you know?"

He flinched at the sound of his own voice and then looked over at the blonde who had halted in his sketching.

"Just knew, I guess," he answered vaguely.

Zack sighed. He knew it was touchy subject with Freddy. While Billy was adamant he'd always known and Katie could pinpoint the exact day she'd realized it, the drummer never talked about it.

"Sorry," he apologized. "I don't know why I thought of that."

Freddy didn't say anything for a long time and the scratch of pencil on paper never resumed. Zack looked up with a contrite look and jumped when he realized that Freddy was right in front of him. The blonde hopped onto his bed, laid his head in Zack's lap, and shrugged.

"It's okay."

It had taken years for Zack to get used to Freddy's touchy-feeliness. He wasn't used to casually touching anyone. Not his mom and certainly not his dad. There were, of course, the compulsory hugs and kisses at holidays and the brief stint they'd had on tour right before highschool had led to a pretty tearful departure on his mom's part, but mostly Zack didn't touch other people and wasn't touched by others either. Freddy, on the other hand, was extremely tactile and used to make Zack nervous. After so many years with him, the brunette was comfortable with it, if not a natural at it.

"I know you don't like talking about it," Zack mumbled.

Freddy sighed and seconds later, Zack felt the breath waft over his chin.

"I got a crush on a guy," he said softly. "And he was straight, which, of course, made everything that much worse. I told Billy I thought maybe I was and that I didn't want to be . . ." He trailed off and sat up, his back to his friend. "I tried so hard to forget about it. About my crush and the fact that it wasn't just him, it was all guys. There were always girls willing to reaffirm my heterosexuality, you know? But I just felt worse after."

Zack recalled that pretty vividly; there had been wild parties, late nights, and girl after girl after girl.

"I guess I hate talking about it because of the scars," Freddy said absently. "I was so stupid but it hurt really bad and the only way I could feel better . . . I just wish I could've accepted it," he finished. "I wish I could have been proud about it. I talk all this shit now, but I was nothing but a coward and I haven't really changed."

"Don't be a fucktard," Zack said with an eyeroll. "Not everyone can do what you did. Come out and battle depression and all that. You're one of the strongest people I know and all you ever do is be yourself."

Freddy turned with a small smile.

"Aw," he drawled. "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Zack."

He smirked.

"Yeah, I know. I expect you to put out now."

Freddy fell backward with an exaggerated gasp and laid his hand over his heart.

"Holy fuck! Innocent, little Zack just came on to me!" He half sat up and leered. "I'm so hot I made Zachary Mooneyham a slut."

Zack pulled up a pillow and hit Freddy in the face with it. Hard.


	6. Chapter Six

Imitation of Life

By: Lady DeathAngel

Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.

Warnings: more drug use.

A/N: So, it's been a while. There is a bit of plot development in this story, ambiguity, profanity, drug use . . . all the stuff I'm coming to expect in my own life. Sans drug use, I guess. Hookahs and rose flavored tabacco are cool though. Okay, sorry for my randomness. I just got out of highschool forever and so I'm still high off of that. I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out. I have been writer's block's bitch and it's not a fun place to be, let me tell you. I do, however, know where I'm going with this so hang in there, please! And thanks for doing so for so long now. This is self-beta'ed as usual, but if anyone's interested in beta reading for me, I would really appreciate it. I'm a bit jaded about it, as none of my betas have worked out well in the past, but if you think you'd like to do it and you can handle it, please let me know! So, I've rambled long enough. Please, as always, read, enjoy, and review!

Katie was so busy sketching that she almost forgot what a randomly shitty mood Freddy was in. Almost, but not quite. Because there were only so many textures one could add to a tree before it became hard to keep on pretending that one of one's best friends was exuding a cloying aura of negativity.

"I _really_ wish he'd stop looking at me like that," Freddy finally burst out, loudly enough so that several people glanced over at them.

Katie looked up with a confused frown. She must have missed something . . .

"You wish who would stop looking at you like what?"

"I wish Zack would stop looking at me like he wants me to fuck his brains out."

Somewhere, several tables over, someone was chocking on a pea or a carrot or whatever the hell and their friends were laughing. Farther away in the lunch room, Summer and Zack were being forced to sit at the preppy table with their dance dates. Katie, who had been carefully _not_ staring at them, wondered if she'd heard Freddy wrong. Because, while she may not have been looking over at the table, what he was proposing was ridiculous.

"You wish _who_ would stop looking at you like _what_?"

"I wish _Zack_ would stop looking at me like he wants me to _fuck his brains out_," Freddy growled. "He just won't stop! Every time I see him he gets this _look_ in his eyes . . ."

"Whoa! Pause, rewind, and stop for a minute . . . are you high? _Zack_?"

Freddy shot her an exasperated looked and raked his hand through his spiky blonde hair.

"I'm not shitting you," he said. "And it's pissing me off because . . . God, I spent enough time getting over _that_ but no gay male can resist that _look_. It's insane."

"He can't realize he's doing it," Katie reasoned. "I mean, gay or straight, Zack wouldn't know how to seduce anyone, let alone use the '_look_'." She rolled her eyes. "You're just panicking. Eat the shit on your tray and relax, okay?"

But there was no relaxing Freddy. Instead, he went off. Not overly loud, but loud enough to make Katie realize this was serious.

"If it were Summer, would you be able to relax? I mean, in the halls, in class, every five fucking seconds he's glancing at me and it's fucking hot but he's _straight_ and he's _Zack_ . . ."

"Wouldn't have stopped you two years ago," Katie muttered under her breath.

Freddy stood up abruptly.

"You know what, Katie? Fuck you. Just . . . fuck you."

Katie watched with a frown as he stalked away and then glanced over at Zack and Summer. Summer was poking idly at her food and Alice was running a hand through Zack's hair and whispering. But the brunette's eyes were following Freddy as he made his way out of the lunchroom and by the look on his face, he wished he could follow.

It was a slow day as far as rehearsals went. Mostly it consisted of Zack strumming on his guitar while everyone else gossiped. Freddy and Katie were conspicuously AWOL and Lawrence was attacking his homework with the sort of fervor usually reserved for more pleasant pastimes. Alicia, Marta, and Tomika were talking boys and playing Barbershop, as per usual, and Summer was with Dewey in the kitchen discussing God only knew what. After almost an hour of doing absolutely nothing, Summer sprinted into their midst with a wide grin.

"They want us to tour this summer!" she yelled.

Zack looked up at her with wide eyes.

"No shit?"

"No shit!" she said happily. "They want to book us for the Myxed tour. A friend of Dewey's called last week and said we'd be perfect to round it out. They've already got the rappers, the metal and screamo bands . . . and us, if we wanna do it."

"This is . . ."

"Ridiculous," Alicia said.

Zack frowned.

"Actually, I was gonna say kickass, but whatever," he said, glancing at her.

The girl rolled her eyes.

"Come on, we're getting ready to _graduate_," she told them.

"In a _year_," Zack pointed out.

"I thought that after the prom gig, we were done," she insisted, glaring at him. "You know? Growing up. Graduating. Going to college. Doing what we really want to do."

"This _is_ what I want to do," Summer and Zack said at the same time.

"You guys _do_ have talents besides managing a band and being the lead guitarist of one," Marta pointed out. "You can't possibly _not_ want to explore those possibilities."

"Look, let's not fight about it," Tomika said. "We agreed to stick together long enough to play for junior prom and finish the last single on our album."

"An album we've been working on for the last three years," Alicia groused.

"After that," Tomika continued. "We didn't make any promises. And it's really not fair to assume that all of us have the same goals as you two. Even Lawrence didn't plan on being in the band forever."

Zack didn't know what to say. It was true. Going into highschool they'd decided to do one more album before splitting up. An album that they would finish before their senior year because by that time, they'd have grown out of the music thing. Back then, things had still be odd. People were moving away, Ned was getting married, not to mention the fact that their parents had pretty much pounded it into their heads that the band was Just A Faze. Zack had thought he'd be fine ending it in time for college and life. So had Summer. But he couldn't help it if this was what he loved, and Summer couldn't help it if this was what she was good at and what she wanted to do. A heavy silence filled the loft after that, one that both Dewey and Freddy stepped into, completely oblivious.

"I ordered pizza!" Dewey yelled just as Freddy burst into the loft with a cry of, "Just fucking leave it!"

Everyone looked up with frowns and stared as Freddy threw his bag and coat on the floor and settled behind his drum. Katie walked through the door seconds behind him and watched, dispassionately, as he twirled his sticks in jerky, agitated movements.

"Well, are playing or what?" he finally demanded.

"Stop being such a drama queen," Katie hissed.

She threw her own coat and bag down and resumed staring Freddy down. Her face was shuttered and expressionless, but if looks could kill Freddy definitely wouldn't have been able to snort the way he did.

"I'm not being a queen about this," he said slowly. "I told you to leave it alone and _you_ and your _theories_ . . ."

"I just want you to be happy, you fucking idiot!"

"Yeah, well, it won't work, okay? Haven't we been down this road before?"

"Yeah," Katie said, arms crossed. "_Before_. It could be different now."

Freddy rolled his eyes.

"Could be . . . that's not good enough. So drop it and pick up your damn bass."

Zack watched as she did so and then glanced at Freddy. The blonde was staring down at his drums, looking for all the world like he was somewhere else entirely. He wondered what was wrong and why the hell it had two of the best friends you could imagine at each other's throats, but then Alicia opened her big mouth and the temperature in the room dropped even further.

"So, I guess now wouldn't be the best time to discuss when the band's ending."

Katie lifted an eyebrow.

"It really wouldn't," she said.

Alicia shrugged.

"Well that's too damn bad, because I'm not leaving this loft until we all know where we stand."

"We got asked to tour this summer," Summer supplied softly at the confused look on Katie's face.

Freddy looked up with a frown.

"What?"

"Don't act like you didn't hear it," Katie said with a glare.

"Look, whatever the hell's going on between you two, leave us out of it," Tomika said. "This about the band, right now."

"No," Alicia corrected, leaning back against the couch. "It's about what we agreed to do and what's best for us. After we play prom, it's over. End of story."

"What!" Freddy yelled. "Are you _kidding_? Are you even _listening_? They want us to _tour_ this summer. This is huge! Dewey, man, come on! Tell them how huge this is."

But Dewey wasn't getting involved.

"Look, the girls have got a point," he said. "You all agreed to end the band before your senior year. Now, I'll let you all discuss this and write the check for pizza." He walked away, muttering about teenagers and their hormones and all-around idiocy.

"Now, are we gonna rehearse or not?" Marta asked, as if they'd settled everything. As if they'd settled _anything_.

Katie played an angry chord on her guitar.

"Not that it matters," she grumbled.

Freddy banged on his drums in agreement and the two shared a look.

There was a heavy silence in the air as everyone took their places.

"We really need to work on 'Velvet'," Zack said, eyes trained on his guitar. "The chorus is always a pitch to high."

Katie brought them in on Zack's count and as he started 'crooning', as Freddy called it, he watched Summer settle herself on the floor, head hanging, hair curtaining her face from view. There was a break between the chorus and the second verse and as the sound of the girls singing the last note off-pitch hung in his ears, he glanced over at Freddy. The other boy was staring at him and he took a moment to _not_ think about the dreams he'd been having. Once the moment was done he mouthed, 'My house tonight'. Freddy nodded and, while Zack resumed singing, relayed the message to Katie.

Zack's house always made Freddy shudder. It always had. It was so . . . _clean_. And white, too. And modern. There was no charm to it, no warmth. It screamed money and prestige and the result of two business majors with salaries too high to do anything _but_ decorate their house like it was something out of a very boring magazine. _Lifestyles of the Fucking Rich and Dysfunctional_. Actually, Freddy might just read something like that. It sounded like a laugh.

At least, Freddy thought as he, Summer, Zack, and Katie walked into the brunette's room, this place felt like home. Sure it was sparsely decorated and monochromatic, but it was _Zack_. Zack wasn't very colorful anyway, all black or white t-shirts and blue jeans and if you'd asked Freddy to decorate his room, he'd have done it this way. Give a poster or two, of course.

They all settled in, Freddy on the bed, Katie and Summer sprawled on the floor beneath it. The three watched as Zack grabbed his stash from the shoe box in his closet, the one with all the baby pictures, headlines, and other random sentimental shit he'd collected over the years. Ten minutes later they were passing a joint around the room in silence.

"We have school tomorrow," Summer pointed out.

"Fuck," Freddy hissed, watching as thick smoke curled past his lips and hung in the air above him. "_Fuck_," he said again, louder. "What is fucking _wrong_ with them? It's the chance of a lifetime! People would _kill_ to do what we're being asked to do."

They'd all been avoiding that topic but Freddy was tired of beating around the bush. His entire _world_ was falling apart right before his eyes and he didn't even have a tube of glue in hand to try and fix it with. He wanted to scream and rip things apart. He wanted to hurt something or somebody. He wanted to drum until his sticks broke and wood splintered and his hands were a bloody mess and his legs ached and he couldn't hear anymore.

He wanted everything to be the way it had been two days ago.

"So . . . we'll do it without them," Summer muttered.

"What?" Zack said. He sat up and crawled across the foot of the bed to stare at the girl.

She looked blearily up at him.

"We'll do it without them," she said. "We can. We don't need keyboards and backup vocalists. It'll be a tough sell, but I'm not done yet."

"Yeah . . . neither am I," Zack murmured, falling backward and into Freddy's lap as Katie muttered a 'me three'. "You?"

Freddy swallowed hard and held out a hand to Katie because he needed another hit, bad.

"No. I'm not done yet."


	7. Chapter Seven

Imitation of Life

By: Lady DeathAngel

Disclaimer: I can claim nothing but the plot and some less than savory characters.

Warnings: language, mild violence, sexual content

A/N: Okay, to start off, thanks to anyone who is still reading this. I know my updates are sporadic (and even moreso when chapters give me fits, as this one did) and you don't know how much I appreciate you sticking with this story. My writing style has evolved dramatically since I started this story a year ago and IoL continues to take ona life of it's own and veer off the plotted out course. I do plan on finishing this fic, never fear! And I'm always thinking of it, what I can do better and what's happening next. IoL will always have a place in my mind and heart no matter what else I'm doing (currently, I've been on a Teen Titans Robin/Raven kick,and my baby (IoL's younger sibling) has occupied quite a bit of my time), and barring tragedy, I will not abandon this fic. Just so you know. Also, pay attention to the warnings. Things reach a fever pitch in this chapter and I have a feeling they'll only get hotter. I hope you enjoy it and, as always, leave a review to let me know what you think!

--(

Summer threw herself into the task of marketing School of Rock as a three-member band.

By Saturday she was pissed off and beginning to think it was hopeless.

"They wanted us for our original sound," she explained. "They're not sure they're ready to take a chance on a new one."

Zack sighed and fumbled with his tie.

"So, what now?" he asked.

"They're sending someone to check us out next month," Summer answered, pacing back and forth in his living room. "They've already got another band lined up and if they don't like us, they're in and we're out."

Zack gave up on the tie and cursed loudly.

"Are you serious? What're we supposed to do, then?"

Summer stopped and faced him, the look on her face one of determination.

"I think we should look for a lead vocalist," she said. "You're wonderful Zack, you really are, but maybe that'll help."

Zack blinked up at her and then leaned back against his father's leather couch. It made sense. It would round the band out and probably give them a better sound, but Zack had gotten used to singing his own lyrics. He wasn't a natural vocalist by any stretch of the imagination, but he'd grown to love it. Obviously whatever needed to be done needed to be done, and at the end of the day he was a guitarist and songwriter, not a singer. It would just take a lot of getting used to.

"God, Zack, when're you gonna learn to tie your own fuckin' tie?" a voice asked from the direction of Zack's kitchen.

He watched as Summer spun on her heel to see Katie and Freddy wandering in.

"We let ourselves in through your backdoor," Katie said with a grin.

Zack nodded and sucked in a breath as Freddy stalked over.

"Swear to God, dude, I've been tying your ties for how long now?"

The dark-haired boy forced a grin as Freddy swiftly tied his tie. He smelled good, Zack noted, clean and masculine and purely Freddy. The smell combined with having Freddy leaning over him, close enough to kiss, was enough to drive him crazy.

Zack didn't know what was up with this _thing_ he had for Freddy, but it was getting out of hand.

"There," Freddy murmured, sliding his palm down Zack's chest to flatten out the tie. "All good."

He looked up and locked eyes with Zack. Freddy's eyes were always pretty, bright blue and laughing. Tonight they looked different and the only word that Zack could come up with to describe them was 'smoldering'.

"You're wearing eyeliner," Zack said softly, still staring.

Freddy's lips quirked up at one corner.

"Yeah. Sexy, huh?"

Zack snorted.

"Aren't you always?"

Freddy opened his mouth to reply and Zack's eyes dropped to his lips long enough to note how soft they looked before the doorbell rang loudly.

They sprang apart and Zack jumped up, rushing to open the door. Summer and Katie raised their eyebrows at him when he passed and he just grinned, not quite sure what the hell had just happened.

"Baby!" Alice yelled, launching herself at him as soon as the door was open.

Zack embraced her awkwardly before thrusting her away.

"Hey, Alice," he said.

She smiled and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He fought the urge to wipe it off. Chris was right behind her and he sauntered in, eyes peeled for Summer. He spotted her and smiled.

"Hey," Chris said smoothly.

Summer glanced sideways at Katie and then smiled tentatively at him.

"Hi."

"Everybody ready to go?" Alice asked, staring wearily at Freddy and Katie.

Freddy smiled winningly at her while Katie smirked in her general direction.

"Why, yes! Thanks for asking," Freddy said. He held his arm out to Katie who linked her own through his. "Shall we?"

Katie giggled dramatically.

"We shall," she tittered, winking at Summer and Zack as they flounced past.

Alice glared at their backs and then latched onto Zack like a limpet.

"Let's go, hon," she said, lowering her voice into a husky tone.

Zack swallowed and shared a look with Summer. It was going to be a long night.

--(

Freddy and Katie weren't very good company. They'd spent most of the night seated at a table, nursing cans of Coca Cola while watching Zack and Summer be _smothered_ by their dates. Katie kept growling low in her throat whenever Chris' hands wandered, and Freddy's frown deepened every time Alice tried to kiss Zack. It was obvious to anyone who knew them that they were jealous and feeling over-protective.

But dammit, Katie _knew_ she should be the one holding Summer close and kissing her ear and Freddy _knew_ that he should be the one with his tongue in Zack's mouth. Not that there was much they could do about it. After all, neither of them had any real claims to Summer or Zack . So Freddy and Katie resorted to sitting and glowering and being generally bad company.

"Oh, fuck this!" Freddy finally exclaimed. "Wanna dance, Katie?"

She frowned at Chris and Summer.

"Yeah, okay."

Freddy stood up and held a hand out to Katie. She took it and they made their way out onto the dance floor. It was lucky, for them, that Zack and Alice were dancing right beside Summer and Chris. Freddy and Katie rounded it out and made it a party.

"Hey!" Summer exclaimed when she saw them. "Where've you guys been?"

"Pouting," Katie answered with a smile. "These dances suck."

Alice rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. This is one of the best dances I've ever been to."

Freddy figured that if his ass was attached to Zack's crotch, he'd be having the best dance of his _life_. He shook his head rapidly and cursed. He needed to stop thinking like that. A tiny, meaningless crush years ago should not have blown up and into _this_. Sure Zack was the catalyst of Freddy's 'I'm gay' epiphany, but he was also one of his best friends. One of his _straight_ best friends. And as much as Freddy didn't care so much whether a guy was straight or gay so long as he was hot and interested, Zack was different. The looks and the blushes were just because he was confused.

Freddy rolled his eyes to himself. That had sounded sanctimonious in his own head.

Katie and Summer were migrating toward each other, much to Chris' chagrin, and Zack was trying to look interested in whatever bumping and grinding he was doing with Alice. The dark-haired boy was failing miserably and simply managed to look slightly nauseous. Alice didn't notice and just kept right on doing what she was doing. Zack looked up, locked eyes with Freddy and mouthed 'help me'. The blonde snickered and shook his head, staying near Katie and Summer.

Zack frowned and looked so dejected that Freddy was tempted to help him out, but then the blonde had an armful of Katie who had an armful of Summer. The two girls were laughing and Freddy couldn't help but join in when Katie guided his hips into an exaggerated grinding motion. Chris was looking on, glaring at Freddy and Katie and Alice looked mildly disgusted. Freddy just shrugged them off until Chris wrapped his hand around Summer's bicep and dragged her away, looking Katie in the eye.

"Hands off my date, dyke," he spat.

Katie went dangerously still and Summer had gone pale. Two red spots bloomed high on Summer's cheek bones and she tried to wrench her arm away.

"Let _go_," she hissed.

Chris tightened his grip and pulled her roughly against him.

"No. You're here with me, in case you'd forgotten."

Summer tried harder to get away.

"It's kind of hard to forget," she said. "With you pawing at me all the time."

Chris leered at her.

"You love it, you little slut," he said genially.

Freddy, Katie, and Zack all took furious steps forward. Summer stared at him with wide eyes before yanking her arm away and taking a few steps back.

"Fuck you, Chris," she hissed. "You sick bastard."

Chris frowned down at her and Freddy was worried that if someone didn't run interference, things were going to get ugly.

"What? Are you saying you don't like it when I'm fondling your pussy? Huh? You never told me to stop, did you?"

Summer was visibly shaking and Freddy wanted nothing more than to launch himself at Chris and tear him limb from limb.

"But maybe I figured you wrong," Chris continued. "Maybe you're thinking about the dyke while I'm finger-fucking you. Is that it?" He looked over at Katie, his lip curled. "You're disgusting."

Summer shook her head and thrust her shoulders back.

"No she's not," she shot back. "You're disgusting. What you _do to me_ is disgusting."

Before anyone knew what was happening Chris had drawn his arm back and smacked Summer across the face with a closed fist. She stumbled back and doubled over and Alice shrieked.

"Oh my God!" Alice yelled, turning to latch onto Zack who evaded her grip, taking several steps toward Chris, prepared to eviscerate him in the most creative and painful way possible. Katie beat him to it.

"You son of a bitch!" she growled, rearing back and kneeing him so hard in the balls that Zack was surprised he didn't pass out.

Chris fell backward with a small whine and Summer straightened, staring down at his prone body. Freddy and Zack watched with frowns as she strode purposefully forward, kneeling beside him.

"Your music sucks, your cock is small, and if you ever lay another _finger_ on me, you'll regret the day you ever saw me, I swear."

She rose and, in one fluid motion, kicked him as hard as she could in his ribs. Alice let out another shriek and Freddy and Zack were able to breathe again.

"We need to get the fuck out of here," Freddy announced.

Zack looked over at him and nodded. Summer glanced over her shoulder and then took off for the exit. Katie, Zack, and Freddy followed, making sure to step on Chris on their way out. Alice's yells were still ringing in their eyes by the time the burst out of the building and into the cool night air.

Summer was leaning against a tree on the lawn. Freddy frowned and looked over at Katie who took a tentative step forward.

"Summer? Are you okay?"

She looked over at them and smiled.

"I'm better than okay," she said. "But now we're all dressed up with nowhere to go."

Freddy smirked and crossed his arms.

"Well, I know one place we could go . . ."

--(

The harsh thumpa-thumpa of Doomsday invaded Zack's senses as they walked through the doors, the bouncer at the front waving them past the line. Summer grabbed Zack's arm with the hand that wasn't linked with Katie's and dragged him straight to the dance floor. Freddy followed at a more sedate pace, a grin on his face.

In the back of their minds they knew that what had just happened was serious, but they couldn't think about that. All they could do was pretend that they were okay, that something huge hadn't just happened. Zack, for his part, wasn't sure he'd ever be ready to analyze the situation. He wanted to forget, he wanted to relish in Summer's smile and the fierce glint in Katie's eyes.

Zack watched as Summer twined her arms around Katie's neck and settled her body firmly against the other girl's. Katie smiled and looped her own arms around Summer's waist, moving their bodies to the throbbing beat that was making Zack's body pulse and vibrate. They looked so right together it hurt and Zack found his thoughts shifting, inevitably, to Freddy.

The blonde was dancing a few inches away, his eyes closed and his head thrown back. Zack stared at the column of his throat and wondered what it would taste like; he watched the hypnotic sway of Freddy's hips and wondered what it would be like to dance with him. As if sensing Zack's eyes on him, Freddy looked up and grinned. He shifted and reached out to pull Zack close, the dark-haired boy's back lined up with his front.

Zack's eyes slid shut at the feel of Freddy's hips pressed into his and at the heavy weight of Freddy's hands on his hips, guiding him in a slow and sensual rhythm.

"You're not as shitty a dancer as I expected," Freddy whispered into his ear.

Zack almost smiled. "Thanks," he whispered back, dryly.

Freddy's sigh was warm and the sound of it slid across Zack's body like a caress.

"This feels too damn good," he murmured. "I'm not fucked up enough for this to be happening right now."

Zack shrugged and pressed his hips back purposefully, eliciting a tiny groan.

"It's more fun when you're sober, anyway," he said, grinding against Freddy's growing erection.

Freddy's hands slid up Zack's chest, his fingers trailing over his throat, angling his head back. Zack found his head resting on Freddy's shoulder. His eyes fluttered open and he saw Freddy staring down at him, his face a picture of lust and any number of emotions that Zack could only find the words for when there was a guitar cradled in his arms.

"You're just confused," Freddy said against his temple, rolling his hips against Zack's ass, obviously not as concerned about it as he was trying to be.

Zack shook his head slowly. "I'm not."

Freddy laughed harshly and pulled away just enough to turn Zack in his arms.

"Yeah, you are. But I don't give a fuck."

And then Freddy was kissing him. _Kissing_ him. It was like in his dreams only so much better. Freddy's lips were soft and slightly chapped, his kiss rough and wet. Zack didn't care how rough Freddy was just as long as he didn't stop. Freddy didn't seem to want to. He teased the seam of Zack's lips with his tongue and groaned when Zack opened his mouth wider and allowed Freddy entrance.

Freddy licked the roof of Zack's mouth, tracing the hard ridges of his palate, and Zack shivered at the feel. He'd _never_ realized his mouth was so sensitive; he hadn't known that if his tongue was licked _just so_ his cock twitched and he definitely hadn't known that the inside of his upper lip was shot through with nerve endings. Freddy kissed him like he would never kiss another boy ever again and Zack kissed him back because he _knew_ that tomorrow would come and they would logic this out and pretend it had never happened.

They were still moving to the rhythm of the music, Zack's hands gripping the fabric of Freddy's shirt, Freddy's right hand anchored to the back of Zack's neck, the other settled over the curve of the guitarist's rear. They were kissing wetly to a desperate beat, their tongues twining outside of their mouths for a brief second before Zack took over the kiss. He pushed his tongue into Freddy's mouth and practically whimpered when Freddy sucked lightly.

"Tell me to stop," Freddy groaned, tearing his lips away from Zack's, inhaling in sharp gasps.

Zack was just as breathless and shook his head.

"Don't," he said softly. "Don't ever stop."

Freddy blinked and then grinned crookedly.

"I have to," he breathed. "It's not like we can do anything here, and there's no way I'm fucking you in some shitty-ass backroom."

Zack's laugh was breathy.

"You've got a dirty mouth, you know that?"

"You love it."

Zack leaned up and licked languidly at Freddy's bottom lip.

"Yeah. I do."

Freddy sucked in a sharp breath and then took a step back, dropping his arms. Zack felt cold and shivered at the sudden lack of contact.

"We should go," Freddy said. "I don't even see Summer and Katie around, do you?"

Zack sighed and shook his head, wondering what the fuck was going on. All he wanted to do was kiss Freddy again, hold him tightly, grind against him, _fuck_ him. Apparently, though, that wasn't going to happen. Instead he found himself following Freddy out of Doomsday and into the night. They looked around for Summer and Katie and finally found them by their cars. They were sitting on the curb, Katie's arm around Summer's shaking shoulders.

"I let him touch me and I hated it," she was sobbing. "I hate him. I hate _me_."

Katie's arm tightened.

"You told him no," she said sternly. "You _told him no_. He'll never lay a hand on you again if he knows what's good for him."

Summer just sobbed louder, and clutched at Katie. Zack, distinctly uncomfortable, glanced sideways at Freddy. The blonde studiously avoided looking at him and walked forward, murmuring quietly to Katie and Summer. They both looked up and nodded.

"I'm going to take them home," Freddy said over their heads. "You'll be okay?"

Zack frowned and then shrugged. He rummaged through his pockets for his keys as he walked to his car. He watched as Freddy and Katie ushered Summer into the backseat, Katie following her inside. Freddy glanced up and locked eyes with Zack for a split second, and in that split second Zack saw _longing_ in his friend's gaze. Not that it mattered, he thought angrily. Freddy got into his car and drove away without another word, leaving Zack to climb into his own car and stare at the steering wheel.

He didn't know what had just happened. He just knew he had an erection that wouldn't quit and an ache somewhere near his heart. He felt sick to his stomach, distraught and lost. Zack wasn't confused. He wanted Freddy and he _knew_ it. But for whatever reason, Freddy didn't want him. Or rather, he _did_, but he wasn't going to do anything about it. Zack sighed and started his car, pulling out of the parking lot carefully.

Fuck him, then. If he was going to be such a little shit about it, fuck him.

--(

Katie watched the gentle rise and fall of Summer's chest and then studied her face. Her head was angled toward Katie, the moonlight that streamed through her windows illuminating her features and making the tear tracks on her cheeks glow. Katie gazed at her softly parted lips and the way that her eyelashes fanned across her cheekbones, blending in with the bruise that was blooming on her left cheek. Her brow was furrowed, even in sleep, and she looked like an angel. A fallen, bruised angel.

Katie bit her lip and then turned to the blank sheet of paper in front of her. With a shaking hand she lifted her pencil and, steeling her trembling nerves, drew the first, tremulous line of the only work of art that would ever really matter.


End file.
